Unexpected Grace

Scott has 32 days left until he completes the last class of his MBA. I'm so proud of him. And of me for not killing anyone, or anything in the past three years. We are all really feeling the stress of the end of the kids school year, the end of graduate school & the missing employees at both of our offices. Oh and the dang dog. Still not completely excited about her. Like the one time this week when she peed on the floor and then her tail flung urine into my face. My face. I digress.

So with all the stress of life right now I've become even more of a yeller. I don't think I had ever raised my voice to or at anyone in my entire life until I had kids. Now it seems to be my only means of everything. I hate myself for it.

Last night while laying face down on the floor in the hallway, listening to Scott read a story to Lincoln and wallowing in my exhaustion, Timmy came up and asked if he could lay down next to me. I turned my head to face him and apologized, once again, for yelling so much. I gave some lame excuses to him about being stressed out and asked if he could forgive me. He replied, "Of course I'll give you extra grace, you're my mom. Why wouldn't I?"

Wow. In these quiet moments I realize we haven't failed yet and there is hope.