Unexpected Grace

Scott has 32 days left until he completes the last class of his MBA. I'm so proud of him. And of me for not killing anyone, or anything in the past three years. We are all really feeling the stress of the end of the kids school year, the end of graduate school & the missing employees at both of our offices. Oh and the dang dog. Still not completely excited about her. Like the one time this week when she peed on the floor and then her tail flung urine into my face. My face. I digress.

So with all the stress of life right now I've become even more of a yeller. I don't think I had ever raised my voice to or at anyone in my entire life until I had kids. Now it seems to be my only means of everything. I hate myself for it.

Last night while laying face down on the floor in the hallway, listening to Scott read a story to Lincoln and wallowing in my exhaustion, Timmy came up and asked if he could lay down next to me. I turned my head to face him and apologized, once again, for yelling so much. I gave some lame excuses to him about being stressed out and asked if he could forgive me. He replied, "Of course I'll give you extra grace, you're my mom. Why wouldn't I?"

Wow. In these quiet moments I realize we haven't failed yet and there is hope.

Self-Consciousness & Satisfaction

We moved just about a month ago. New house, new (long) commute for the time being, and hopefully new friends. I love change. My oldest, Timmy, 5 years old, does not. He is naturally anxious and shy and extremely self-conscious.

I remember being his age, in kindergarten, and realizing for the first time that I have transparent skin. I'm really white. And through this transparent skin you can see my veins and blood vessels pretty clearly. I remember being indian-style (I think the PC way to say that these days is criss-cross applesauce) on the alphabet rug in Ms. Langer's classroom one day and sitting on my hands so that no one would notice how blotchy my skin was. I thought I looked like an alien and that I would have no friends because of it. As if all the sudden there was a spotlight on my skin and I would instantly be shunned. For life. It was a big deal.

All of that to say, I get it. I get what Timmy feels. (Hopefully he never notices his skin because he is more pale than me!) So last night when I was taking him to his very first baseball skills class at the park district in our new area, I was praying that it would be a successful endeavor for him. I was praying for one new friend for him. I was praying he wouldn't cross his arms, turn his back and scream in the coach's face the way he had done as a four year old at his first (and last) karate class.


God answered my prayers. What followed was a hour of him smiling at me on the side lines, giving countless thumbs ups, and a new found love of baseball. He made three new friends. He came in second place in the base running elimination activity. He gave kids high fives on the way out. Prayers answered. Thank you Jesus.

There is nothing like seeing joy and satisfaction on the face of your kid. 

Living with Dissonance

If you know Scott and I you know we are not ones to shy away from change. In fact, I would say we thrive on it. In the course of our marriage we've moved six times in nine years. I love the process of packing and unpacking and everything that goes along with new spaces and new places. We've been in the same place now for over a year and a half. When we moved here we knew this was temporary and recent events have now given us a deadline to get out. Exciting right?

I thought it would be. Just about two months ago I told Scott I was ready for something to change. Life was too predictable and I was discontent with its temporary condition. Now that the time has come to make a decision on where to go next I'm feeling overwhelmed. Something has happened to me now that Timmy is growing up and becoming more than just a small child that I can lug around with us on all of our adventures. He doesn't like change. He has an opinion. He has a lot of fears. He's five. All the sudden I have base our plans on his life too and its not as durable as mine.

Every couple of months Scott and I revisit an ongoing conversation about what we want. This usually includes discussion of a running list of places that we don't want to live (that list is shorter than the list of the places we'd like to live). Recently this conversation has begun to include us both acknowledging strong feelings of dissonance between wanting to live all over the world and wanting to buy a nice house where our kids can grow in a stable environment and make life long friends and memories. I don't know which dream is going to win yet. Maybe one will win for this season of life, but I don't want to lose the wanderlust.

...a time to plant and a time to uproot. Ecclesiastes 3:2

Instagram Nostalgia

I've been listening to too much country music lately and its making me all weepy for these days of my kiddos being so innocent. Trying to hold on to them is silly, but capturing some of the little moments is satisfying.

Easter Crafts

Timmy and I spent some quality time last week over spring break doing crafts. He's such a creative kid and he loves doing projects. We painted paper Easter eggs and made butterflies while learning about symmetry. I even successfully executed a Pinterest idea by using old caps from water bottles with sticky foam shapes to make stamps. He loved it. and I love art projects with someone who is so excited!

Faith Like a Child

This is an email that I sent to my son today after he prayed a prayer of salvation with me. Scott and I created email accounts for our kids so that we could keep a journal of sorts of their lives. (I think I saw this in a google commercial or something). Anyway, today is an amazing day! Rejoice with us!

Timmy,

This morning on our way to preschool we were discussing tornadoes and how the mostly come in the spring and summer. You said you hope you never see one because you're afraid of the wind. I told you that if you ever are in a tornado you just need to be smart and then pray that God would keep you safe. You said you'd pray for the tornado to stop. That works too. :)

Anyway then you were asking lots of questions about all kinds of things and you said "I wonder if all the people would die like your grandma did. She died right?" I said yes. And you said, "so we'll never see her again right?" I replied, "I will see her in heaven because she believed that Jesus was her savior and so do I, so we'll both be in Heaven someday." You said you believed in Jesus too. I asked if you believed that Jesus died so that your sins could be forgiven and you said yes. I asked you if you wanted to pray and ask Jesus to be in your heart and you said. "Yes mom, I believe all of those things." So we prayed, and you repeated after me to be forgiven for your sins and that Jesus would be your savior.

It was such a sweet moment. I am not sure I ever would have said that I think a four and a half year old can fully grasp what salvation is, and I still don't know if you understand everything you said today. I do believe you meant it and that the Bible teaches us to have faith like a child. Today you expressed your faith. I'm so proud of you, and Daddy and I will continue to pray that you would walk with Christ every day of your life. We love you and are celebrating with you today!

Love Mommy & Daddy

Firsts

This has been a month of firsts...
Lincoln's first food...

Timmy's first day of Preschool...

I made my first homemade baby food - carrots. It was a success.

Scott and I ran in our first 5K - the Warrior Dash. Also a success - we survived!

Scott started his first two classes towards earning his MBA at DePaul.

Praise God for change. I love it!

Instagram Summer!

One Month In...

Lincoln is just about one month old now. We've survived two kids thus far, and I only had to wake up once last night to feed him...happy birthday to me! He's getting huge: 10lbs 13oz at four weeks! How does that even happen?

Anyway, the point of this post is to thank all of you for bringing food and gifts and entertaining Timmy while I recovered from the not so great labor and delivery experience that brought us such a blessing. Especially big thank yous to: Mom & Dad, Jim & Cindy Nelson, Sarah Erickson, Lauren Johnson, Jean Rezutko, Amy McGann, Samantha Johnson, Elaine Nelson & Cheryl Wedyck. We feel very loved!

Potty Talk

Actual conversation from yesterday afternoon:

Me: "Timmy you need to turn the light off after you go potty." (as I walk to the bathroom to turn it off for him.)

Timmy: "Did you see the mess in there mom?"

Me: "No, did you pee on the floor?"

Timmy: (after a good dramatic pause) "No, I peed on the wall." heee, heee, heee.

What a stinker.

Craving & Baking

In an attempt to make my incessant cravings for junk food into something that vaguely resembles a productive activity, Timmy and I have been baking a bit. A few weeks ago he helped me make Halloween cookies. He was really excited about making colored icing, especially blue.

Last week's baked good of choice was carrot cake. Timmy loves carrot cake & a friend from China gave me her recipe for what I think is the best carrot cake ever. Strangely enough I think his favorite part is eating handfuls of the finely shredded carrots.

New Team Member

Team Nelson will be adding a new member sometime around May 1st! In Timmy's words, "There's a baby in mommy's tummy!" I don't think he completely understands what that means, but he's excited about the idea. He asks me the most random things like, "Does the baby like it when I play catch with her?" and "I will teach her how I go down the slide and play 'nect four (Connect Four)."

You may have noticed he said "her" in both cases above. Timmy is convinced that he will have a baby sister. He has named her Allie, after his grandma's dog. Apparently that is his favorite name. Have mercy on us if its a boy!

To answer all the questions, I'm feeling okay. No excruciating morning sickness, just tired, generally uncomfortable and hungry. All I want is junk food! Hopefully that part doesn't last the whole nine months!

Apples!

We took Timmy to Jonamac Orchards this weekend to go apple picking! He fell asleep on the way so Scott and I took ourselves on a driving tour of NIU, oh memories! He woke up when we stopped at the bookstore and had a really hard time understanding that the whole campus was our school.

Being afraid of the wind!

Apple picking was a success. Timmy told me yesterday that apples grow on trees and you have to wash them because they come from outside. The whole experience was a struggle for a few minutes while Timmy was afraid of the wind (just like Scott when he was a kid!). He got over it and had a great time.

Progressive Dinner

So I forgot to take any pictures at our progressive dinner last night, but Scott's new iPhone 4 takes video. Here is a few second glimpse at the craziness that ensued after the second course of the meal...where there are boys there will be wrestling, or in this case, throwing of bodies.

The dinner was a family event with donations that will benefit Family Shelter Services of DuPage. Our house was the cheese fondue course (Queso Fiesta, 4 Cheese & Artichoke Fondue and Cheddar Beer Cheese Fondue) delicious. Erickson's had the main course and Brenda out did herself with a dessert spread like nothing I've seen before!

Tatoes For Breakfast

Some days I wake up at 5am to a little bug saying, "Mama, I'm awake!" as if its a beautiful miracle that there is a new day ahead. What a great reminder of the blessing that each day is. And as long as this announcement takes place after 5:30am, I am happy to hear it.

Other days I hear a number of different first words ranging from, "The sun is awake!" to "I want my yeyyow car!" Today however, was one I have never heard before. Timmy crawled into our bed at 5:15, fell back asleep until the magical hour of 7am and when he finally awoke, his first words were, "I want tatoes." hmmmm. I responded with, "You want mashed potatoes for breakfast?" Yep. That was the request.

I never thought I'd be the kind of mom that makes her kids whatever they want for meals, but we all compromise. Tim doesn't eat much for breakfast ever, and that usually leads to meltdowns before 10am. So on this day we joyfully ate mashed potatoes for breakfast. Past morning menu items have included hot dogs and carrot cake. Whatever works, I guess.

Timmy, God and the Lion's Den

Actual conversation from this week:

Katie: "Timmy, do you remember who was in the cave with the lions?"

Timmy: "God."

Katie: "Oh, yes you're right. Do you remember who else was in there?"

Timmy: "Ummmm."

Katie: "Do you remember it was Daniel?"

Timmy: "Oh yes!"

Katie: "Do you remember who saved Daniel from the hungry lions?"

Timmy: "God!"

Katie: "Good Job! Daniel believed that God would save him and he did. Do you believe God can help you?"

Timmy: "Yes. I go MaMa, you coming?"

Katie: "Where are you going?"

Timmy: "I go with God, you coming?"

Katie: "Yes, I will come."

Sooooooo precious!

Welcome Home, Make a Baby

Helping me make muffins.

So the other day Timmy and I were at the mall in Lombard watching the kiddie train ride go around in circles (he was scared to ride it, but super excited to watch it go around and around and around...), when a really nice grandpa type guy started talking to us. He was of some Asian ethnicity and commented on Timmy's blond hair. Whoa, flashback to Shanghai, we had a rock star moment for just a second, then I remembered we were in the US. Anyway, he was a really nice guy, not creepy at all, and eventually he ended the conversation by telling me I should make some more kids just like Timmy. Weird.

It seems that since we've been home, people keep telling and/or asking us if, when and are we going to have another kid. Now even strangers are getting in on the nagging action. I guess we had Timmy at a good time in life because no one had really started bugging us about having kids yet. I have a lot of friends whose parents were dying to get grand kids that they never heard the end of the make a baby pleas. I guess I'm getting my chance now. And again I say, weird.

This is Timmy practising for a little sis.

Christmas, New Years, Moving, etc.

So we've been back in town for almost a month now. Christmas and New Year's have come and gone, and we've moved back into our old house. After we had been living in our old place for a few days, I asked Timmy if he liked his house. He responded with, "Timmy's house BIG, I wike it!" This is hilarious because I think we own close to the world's smallest house! He seems a lot happier being here.

For Scott and I it seems like weird deja vu. Its our home, but strangers were living here for a year. They changed a few minor things just enough that you almost can't tell they were changed. But I can tell and it sort of freaked me out at first. Like the handle on our one and only toilet. Its different. Who remembers exactly what their toilet flusher looks like? Not me. But I know it didn't look like it does now. Weird.

Helping clear the deck after the lastest snow storm.

This is Timmy testing out his old Moses basket when we were babysitting our friends little girl.

home and stuff

on the plane, he slept for almost 11 hours!

So currently I have been awake since 5 in the morning on the second full day back in the USA. My adorable little monster is still sleeping after another night of playing trains, eating pizza and watching horrible children's TV at 2 in the morning. Sounds un-fun, but I am so thankful to be home. I have found that I have infinitely more patience for just about everything (from tantrums to traffic) now that we are back home. I don't know what it is, I guess I had just had it with the frustrations of China. I didn't realize how irritable I had become most of the time. Anyway, we're home, safe and happy.

One of the last days in our neighborhood in Shanghai. The leaves just started changing in December.

Decorating the tree with Grandma on our first day back in town.

Temporary Christmas

So in light of our impending move across the globe, traditional Christmas decorations are not happening while in China. Instead, we made a temporary, disposable Christmas tree. We managed to only color on the wall with crayons twice, not bad. I think Timmy had fun coloring, but mostly he just like taping stuff.