Best Behavior

Timmy is a classic case of he's on his best behavior with everyone else, but when he comes home all bets are off. He can turn from having a perfect day at Grandma's or school or daycare to total meltdown as soon as he sees my face or steps in the house. Everyone assures me that this is totally normal because kids naturally know that their parents will love them no matter what. I'm sure there is truth to this, but it doesn't make dealing with those meltdowns any easier.

I read an article here that convicted me about my own behavior as a mom and got me thinking about this idea of who gets the best me. Sometimes I think I do the same thing my kids do: act great at work and in public, but the second we get home, I meltdown. I yell at my kids, lose patience and generally am a jerk to them and probably my husband too. I know my kids will love me no matter what, so I feel free do do whatever I want when they are the only ones watching. This week I've been thinking a lot about how I should act & what kind of example I should set for them. After all, they are way more important to me than my coworkers and complete strangers.

Borrowed Time

These days are flying by and lumbering along all at the same time. I can't believe Lincoln is one already and Timmy "graduates" from preschool next week. And yet I can't wait until these boys of mine are old enough to bring me a coke from the fridge instead of me waiting on them with an endless supply of milk, apple juice, goldfish crackers & clean diapers. I can't wait to go hiking with them and not have to carry anyone or listen to complaints of being tired after ten minutes. And then I go back to how sweet and cute they are right now and don't want them to ever change. Lincoln's smiles are contagious and you just want to squeeze him. Timmy's cards on Mother's day were priceless. "My mommy is 15 years old. I like it when she wears her hair down, it looks best that way. My mommy is so smart, she knows a lot about dinosaurs." The cards were accompanied by coupons for free hugs, kisses and arm tickles. I didn't know an arm tickle was a thing to be coveted, but it turns out I can't get enough of them.

I'm so thankful to have a job that lets me make my own hours (within reason) and work from home when I need to and take unpaid sick days to my heart's content (oh how I wish I didn't need to take any of them!). I am thankful that I get to do work that I enjoy and find fulfilling and challenging. I get to meet great people, encourage and support church planting leaders and even do some art and get paid for it! But at least once a week I feel like I'm borrowing time from someone. Whether that be sneaking out to Target at 9pm to grocery shop in peace or going to the dentist when I would usually be working because its the only time I can find to get there without kids. I try really hard not to steal time from the kids, but there are days when work won't wait until tomorrow and I have to stick around. I wonder if this will ever change, but for now I'm grateful for being able to exist in both worlds.

I have been encouraged by the wise and honest words of Bethany at thegracefulmom.com as she balances life as a working mom.

Lincoln's 1st Birthday